I’ve always had this sort of love/hate relationship with my hair. At various times in my life I’ve hated it…for being fine, for being straight, for being some really nondescript shade of light brown, for how hard it is to curl, for going gray while I was still so young.
But at other times and in many other situations I absolutely loved my hair. It is incredibly soft, which lent itself well to developing a long-lasting habit of playing with and twirling my hair. It takes dye VERY well, so I’ve always been able to dye it at home, saving me a small fortune (since I had to start while I was still in my early twenties). Overall, I’ve spent most of my life feeling very firmly that my hair was my best attribute…my crown…the one thing that I actually wanted people to notice and compliment me on.
And then I had kids.
I’m trying not to blame it on the kids (too much). I’d already been a bit dissatisfied with my hair for several years. I’d cut it short since it was looking very bedraggled when it was long. It looked much better but was a lot of work to maintain, had to be “done” every day, and it just didn’t feel the same as when I’d had long hair.
Having the twins just sort of intensified all those problems as I no longer had the time or inclination to do my hair everyday…shoot, I don’t even have time to shower everyday, so doing my hair just isn’t happening. This past summer, I spent more time with my hair thrown into a pony tail than I did with it down, which is a Big Deal for me–I’ve never liked how I look with my hair pulled back like that.
Shortly before going back to work, I sought out my stylist to try to get a workable style that would carry me through the school year. While she did give me something lovely, after a few days I really just wasn’t feeling it. I hoped it would grow on me but I found myself nearly crying over my appearance.
It was at nearly that exact moment that I was introduced to an online community of women who cover their hair for a very wide variety of reasons. I discovered them through a costuming acquaintance, and something in my heart just clicked. These women looked so beautiful and so confident…the very things I felt completely devoid of after a challenging summer with two two-year-olds.
After a brief conversation with K about it, I pulled out my meager stash of scarves and started experimenting, ordered a few items online to help me in this journey, and made the decision to jump into covering my hair full time, at least for this season in my life.