IVF Day 4

  

So, now that I’m on injections, weekends are a bit interesting.  No such thing as sleeping in, though people a quick to point out that I won’t be sleeping in once I have a baby either.  (On a side note, that is a “neither here nor there” kind of comment.  I’m obviously an adult who knows how to function on little to no sleep–I went to college, after all–and I manage to do just fine on weekdays getting up at five a.m. on a regular basis.  Like most other human beings, I tend to try to make up for my sleep deficit on the weekend.  While I realize that with an infant I will no longer be able to make my own sleep schedule, I don’t currently HAVE an infant, which is why I’m in the position I’m currently in.  So, thank you very much for pointing that out…again.)

Anyway, back to my IVF experience.  So, Saturday wasn’t so bad because I was getting up early anyway to proctor the SAT exam at the high school.  It turned out to be perfect because getting up in time to do my shot gave me just enough time to have breakfast, get ready, and stop at Starbucks before going to the high school.

Today was a little more challenging.  I didn’t technically need to be up until 8:30, so the plan was to give myself the shot at 6:00 and then try to fall back to sleep.  The alarm went off at 5:45, and boy, did I want to hit the snooze button.  But I was good and got up.  As soon as I turned on the kitchen light, the cats started up a ruckus to be let in and have their breakfast, which is usually our routine on weekdays.  It seemed cruel to make them wait until 8:30 when they clearly knew I was up and in the kitchen, so I decided to let them in and feed them.

So, I go them all settled down, then gave myself my shot and went back to bed.  Thankfully, I feel back to sleep without any problem.

About an hour later, the cats are at our bedroom door, scratching and crying.  Now, this is why we make them spend the night in the garage…anytime we let them stay in for the night, they wake us up before the sun in order to be fed.  Of course, in this situation, they’d already been fed, so there was absolutely no excuse other than to drive me INSANE!

I’m so incredibly glad that we only have one more week of these early morning shots.  On the other hand, the end of early morning shots signals the beginning of intramuscular shots, so maybe I shouldn’t exactly be rejoicing over this.

In other news, this was also my first super emotional day.  It started out with just general irritability.  I think I snapped at K at least half a dozen times before we’d even left for church.  By the time we got in the car, I was pretty much ready for a good cry but managed to keep it down to just a few tears.  I was on the edge all throughout the service, and then the end of X-Men: First Class made me cry.  Yikes!  I’m just going to be a big ball of fun the next few weeks, aren’t I.

June 5, 2011   Posted in: IVF  No Comments

IVF Week 1

  

This blog has sort of fallen into disuse, but I find myself in a situation in life where I need it again.  Eventually, I may fill in the back story, but for now it is enough to say that my husband and I have decided to go through in vitro fertilization in order to treat our infertility problems.

We have known for well over a year that this was the path we would eventually have to go down if God didn’t perform some  miracle beforehand.  We waited on God but also tried to fix the problem medically.  We even appeased his parents and saw a Chinese doctor for treatment.

This spring, when we still had no baby in sight, we decided it was time.

Last week was our first blood work/exam combo.  I think that first one is just to check and make sure everything is looking normal.  Of course, that was also the scary part, especially since not everything was as expected.  Doc lightly mentions that one follicle is larger than it should be and that my body might be overriding the birth control I was on.  He didn’t make it sound like any big deal at all.  Then, later in our injection class, our nurse mentions that this exact problem could result in cancelling our IVF cycle.  (Cue panic.)

On the way home, I clung to what both doc and my nurse had said…let’s wait for the blood work results to come back.  The call I got later that day was both reassuring and not.  My hormone levels were normal (good) and doc wanted me to do blood work again the following week (???).

I tried not to think about it.  Thankfully, I’ve been so incredibly busy this month that it was kind of easy to just focus on the job.  Still, though, I was shaking by the time I got to the lab this Wednesday morning.  I spent the rest of an anxiety ridden day snapping at my students while constantly hitting refresh on my gmail account to see if the lab results were back yet.

Finally, in the middle of a staff meeting that afternoon, the call came.  Everything a-okay.  Proceed as normal.  Follow calendar.  Huge wave of relief.

So, today the injections started, and now I know why the follistim is taken in the morning and the menopur is taking in the evening.  The follistim is in the a.m. to give you confidence.  It’s easy to prepare and super easy to administer.  I remembered all the steps from class easily and didn’t even feel the needle go in or come out…not even a prick.  Then in the evening, the menopur took a good ten minutes or more to prepare.  The steps were still easy enough to remember, and the needle doesn’t hurt either, but getting THAT much fluid into myself…aye, there’s the rub.  That syringe looks tiny, but then I start pushing the plunger down and only a quarter of the way into it, I hit the wall–I can feel the pressure of all that fluid pressing into that one little spot of flesh.  Not a good feeling.

It may all be in my head, but even now, hours later, I still feel tender in that part of my belly, like there’s still a bunch of water in the tissue next to my belly button.

Well, one day down, only about thirteen or so more to go.  Can’t wait to add the ganirelix.

There’s a part of my brain (and my heart) that keeps wondering where God is in all this.  How come He hasn’t provided our miracle.  But as a blogger recently reminded me, prayer isn’t transactional; God doesn’t deliver simply because we put in prayer time.  Don’t get me wrong; He always answers prayer, but the answer may not be what we want.  And as a friend encouraged me, sometimes He only lets us see just the one very next step in front of us.

For K and I, that next step is IVF.  And though I still wonder how God will use this for His glory, I have no doubt that He can and that He will in His own time and in His own way.

June 2, 2011   Posted in: IVF  No Comments

Mobility

  

A few months ago, while fiddling around on Scholastic’s website, I discovered that one of their teacher rewards that you can get using the points you accumulate for student book orders was an iPad. This was right around the same time that I was trying to convince Kevin to buy me one for my birthday. I had been sort of hounding him for about a month when I had the sudden realization that I’d actually rather attend Costume College this year rather than get an iPad.

I got Kevin’s agreement for that. Then maybe a week later I found the iPad incentive on Scholastic. It was perfect.

Of course, it was also a LOT of points. I figured that I would just be patient and, by the end of the school year, I should have earned enough points.

Well, it turned out that January was a huge bonus point month. Two big book orders effectively doubled my numbers, and I was ready to request my new toy.

I’ve spent the past day and a half exploring all the things that I can do with it. One of the first apps I found was one that will allow me to update my blogs from the iPad. Maybe this means I’ll post more often.

February 4, 2011   Posted in: Uncategorized  No Comments

The Realities of Summer

  

One of the perks of teaching is the summer.  There’s just no way around that one.  We really are very blessed as teachers to have that time to recuperate and prepare ourselves for the upcoming academic year.

The kids also seem to enjoy it, to a certain extent.  I’m never surprised, though, to discover students returning to school in fall complaining about how boring the summer was except for the few weeks their family went on a vacation together.  When you really think about it, most of us do tend to get a bit bored with extended periods of idleness.  As much as we say that we’d love to win the lottery and not have to work, we wouldn’t really not work; we’d find something to keep us occupied, some way to fill our lives with purpose.  What makes us think children and teens are any different.

Recently, I also got to thinking about the sociological and communal implications of summer.  In modern times, and in urban settings in particular, what we are really saying as a culture is that young people do not need to be held accountable for anything for nine weeks out of the year.  They do not need to be moving toward mastery of any skills.  They do not need to contribute to the community in any tangible way.  We essentially tell them to check out from society for nine months because we don’t want to monitor their development and that we are all too busy to give their lives structure and meaning…

…and then we wonder why they get into trouble.

If we ever want to see significant changes in youth behavior both during the school year and over the vacations, we need to stop assuming that parents are equipped to give their children the guidance and structure that are needed over extended holidays.  We need to stop sending young people the messages that idleness is desirable and that aimlessness is socially acceptable.

Maybe I’m simply feeling this way because I have to teach summer school this year and I’m trying to give my own life a greater purpose over the summer.

Maybe I’m advocating that parents sign their children up for summer programs and that individuals and local businesses start supporting youth programs that give students a way to become actively involved in their community.

Maybe I’m simply pondering how we became a society where “education” became so completely divorced from real world knowledge and experience and where, in this evolution, the community was excluded from the process.

June 14, 2010   Posted in: Work  No Comments

Myths About Teaching, Part 1

  

How much time does a teacher really work?

A. Well, according to the district, we only work for five hours a day.  At least, that’s what we technically get paid for and that is how our “hourly” rate is determined.  For example, if the district has to hire a substitute to cover my class, that individual gets paid for five hours of teaching at the current sub rate of $27.50/hr.  Obviously, a teacher’s hourly rate is higher than that, but the same principle applies.  If the district has to pay me overtime at my hourly rate, it is calculated assuming a five hour work day.

B. Although we only technically teach for five hours, we are contractually required to be at work from 8:15 to 3:20.  This is slightly longer than the student day, but assumes that we need to be here several minutes before we have to start teaching and for about twenty minutes after we stop teaching.  It includes one period of prep. time. (The actual amount of time can vary by school and even by day.  Four days a week my prep is fifty minutes long and one day a week it is forty-five minutes long.)

We are also required by contract to attend one faculty meeting per month that is sixty to ninety minutes in length, and one extended department meeting per quarter, which adds an extra half hour to that day.

We are required to earn three supervision points per year which can be fulfilled by supervising an after school activity (which typically lasts from about an hour and half to three hours) or by joining a committee.  I’m currently on two committees, which require about an hour of my time per month per committee.  I earned my third point by supervising the fall play one evening.

Additionally, at my job site, we are required to complete hall monitor duties before school and/or at break a little over one week per month.

While our lunch is technically “duty-free” many teachers schedule meetings with each other or with students during that time.  Some teachers, like me, occasionally use the time to catch up on grading.  A few host student clubs in their classrooms.  Only a handful of teachers can actually be found in the teacher cafeteria, enjoying their “duty-free” thirty minutes.

Two days out of the school year, we are required to attend evening events: Back to School Night and Open House.  Although students are dismissed an hour early on those two days, teachers invariably use at least that one hour to prepare.  The events themselves are typically scheduled to run from 6:00 to 9:00, with the last parents filtering out at about 9:20 and the custodians starting to lock in the straggling teachers at about 9:30.  (Last year, I was afraid I might have to spend the night in my classroom.)

C. What a typical day really looks like for a teacher can be quite different from the theoretical day we get paid for.

I usually arrive at work sometime between 7:00 and 7:30.  I use my time to prepare for the upcoming day, finalizing my lessons, making copies, and getting my boards ready.

At 8:00 the students are allowed to enter the hallways.  At that point, I must be available for student questions.  This is usually when I check my work email, since it’s an activity that can be easily interrupted and resumed.

The first bell rings at 8:20 with class starting at 8:25.  I spend that five minutes making sure the students inside my classroom get started on their warm up activity and simultaneously monitoring the hallway as students race to class.

I teach a two period block at the beginning of the day, which means 105 uninterrupted minutes of instruction.  When the bell rings, students have their ten minute break, so a few often loiter in my classroom to ask questions or serve detentions.  At the end of break, I return to the hallway to help supervise students returning from break and going to class.

My prep. period is next.  During that fifty minutes, I make a trip to the office to check my box and turn in any detention slips or referral forms.  I sometimes have paperwork to do, such as gathering assignments for students who are sick or suspended for several days, or writing a brief progress update for resource students who have an IEP meeting coming up.  If I need to speak with an administrator or counselor, this is when I have to try to find them.  On some days, I may even have time to start planning the next day’s lesson, get ahead on making copies for the next day, or do some grading.

I then teach one more period before lunch.  During lunch, I check work email again and then my personal email while I eat.  I may have one or two students come in to serve a detention, take a make up test, or get help on some work.  If I’m on a roll, I may continue the grading I started during my prep, or I may do some personal reading.  Regardless of  my activity, I am constantly monitoring the hallway to make sure that students have not entered without a pass.  A few minutes before the bell rings, I station myself out in the hallway to discourage students from running and pushing as soon as the bell rings.

Four days a week, we then have SSR (sustained silent reading) for twenty minutes.  Fortunately, I have a pretty good group of students at that time, and only have to get on a couple of kids to actually read and not distract the others.  I keep these same students for another two period block.

At the end of the day, it takes me about five minutes to clear my classroom, another five minutes to help clear the hallway, and another five minutes after that to deal with the students that keep straggling back in to ask questions or kill time.  I generally take one more trip to the office at that point, after which I could technically leave.

That is not, however, when I leave.  This is the point in the day during which I might call a parent, update my grades, check email one last time, make sure I have some idea of what I’m going to teach tomorrow, touch bases with colleagues, etc.   I might have a parent conference or some sort of meeting.  On an average day, I leave sometime around 4:00.  Once or twice a  month, I’ll have one of those unusual days when I’m at work until 5 or 5:30.

So, how much time does a teacher really work?

Well, it sort of depends on the teacher, but the simple answer is that we always work more than we get paid for.

February 10, 2010   Posted in: Uncategorized, Work  No Comments

My Fat Cat’s Food Fights

  

Now, people have made comments about how big Mochi is, but I certainly wouldn’t use fat to describe him.  He is a little pudgy around the middle, but he is nothing compared to some of the other cats  I’ve seen.  Plus, I thought we were doing pretty good about monitoring how much he eats.

Of course, there are the days that he manages to get a hold of people food.  Like the time I was chopping up carrots for stew.  One slice fell on the floor.  Mochi, not one to pass up something that might be edible, nibbled on the slice while I finished prepping the stew.  When I went to pick up what I had dropped, I discovered that he had successfully eaten half the slice before deciding that this kind of people food most certainly wasn’t worth the effort.

Then there was the time that K and I were eating dinner.  I typically finish much faster than he does, partly because I like to just eat and be done so that I can move on to some other activity, and partly because K only takes bites in between playing video games or watching a movie.  This particular day was a video game day.  I had finished my food, but left both our plates on the dinner tray since his plate was still half full.  I went to the bedroom to get a project, but got a little distracted on the computer, but returned only a few minutes later.  When I went back out to the living room, K was in deeply engrossed in his game and his plate was empty.  Now, K can really put food away when he puts his mind to it, but still, I was a little baffled as to how he finished half a chicken breast while playing his game.  So, I couldn’t help but comment.  “Wow.  You finished that whole piece of chicken?  That was fast.”

He looked from his game to his plate, then gave me a look of complete confusion.  “I didn’t eat it.  You put it away, right?”

“Did you see me put it away?  I’ve been in the bedroom.”

“Then where did my chicken go?  It was right here.”

Please understand, by right here he meant literally about two inches away from his elbow.  Of course, knowing that Mochi has a proclivity to try to snatch food off of our plates when we aren’t there to see him, I naturally started looking around, but I didn’t really believe that the cat had taken it.  After all, K was right there; he would have seen the cat taking food off a plate that is right under his own nose.

The cat was only a couple of feet away, liking an empty spot on the hardwood floor.  I’m guessing the spot still smelled a bit like the chicken he had just wolfed down.  When he saw us glaring at him, he took off running.  I laughed until tears came to my eyes, and poor K just sat there with his jaw hanging down, dismayed at losing his dinner and embarrassed that he hadn’t noticed it happening.

Last week, K had a few days off of work and agreed to take the cats to the vet for their yearly check up.  Mochi had gained a little weight since last year, and so the vet suggested making him exercise to get his food.  I liked the idea, thinking that it would also keep him occupied while his sister finished her food.  She eats much slower than he does, sometimes not even finishing her allotment, which is part of the reason why Mochi is overweight to begin with…he finishes her leftovers.

The first day I tried this with him, I tossed a piece of his food into the dining room.  He chased after it, picked it up, and brought it back to me.  Yes, my cat plays fetch with his food.  (Actually, this is sort of a normal behavior for him–he plays fetch with the little kitty soccer balls we have for him.)

The second day he caught on a bit better.  He chased down his food and ate it.  You could see some sort of primal instinct awakening in him, watching him run and pounce, capturing each piece and making sure it was dead before munching away on it.  When I put his bowl down for him to finish eating the rest (because, honestly, I get a little bored of throwing all of his food and waiting for him to eat it when my own cereal is sitting there getting soggy), he refused to come and eat.  Instead, he sat in the doorway of the kitchen, muscles ready to leap as soon as I threw the next bite.  He wasn’t ready for the game to end…eating food out of a bowl was just mundane now.

Then, the third morning, I threw his first piece of food, and he watched it sail past him.  Then he slowly turned his head towards me with a look that spoke volumes, a look that said, “You really expect me to chase that down and then eat it.  Puhlease!”

Part dog, part human, one hundred percent CAT!

September 12, 2009   Posted in: Life  No Comments

We don’t need no stinkin’ mock-ups!

  

As a historical costumer, I almost always do mock-ups well before cutting into my fashion fabric.  There are always little kinks to work out of any pattern, and I want to go through that process using cheap fabric that I don’t care about rather than my precious fabric that will be used for the final, complete version of the garment.

There are occassions, however, when skipping the mock-up process is called for.  Today, was one of those days.

I’ve started working on my costume for the GBACG Seelie & Unseelie Fairy Court Gathering.  I’m making the base gown out of red stretch velvet.  So, I figured, why on earth would I need to make a mock up…it stretches.  Thankfully, my slight risk has paid off, and today I was able to cut out and get most of the major sewing done on the dress.  It still doesn’t have sleeves or a hem, but the dress itself and the hood are sewn and fit beautifully.

Of course, I’m already rethinking the hood, but I knew I was going to do some experimenting with that, so I’m not going to be put out with myself if I decide to take it off and change it.

The corset, however, is another matter entirely.  For the fashion fabric, I have some silk brocade that is black with red flowers.  I do not have much of it…definitely not enough to experiment with.  So, the first thing I did today was cut out a mock-up of the corset.  I’m using a late nineteenth century corset pattern that I’m trying to modify to have better bust coverage.  This first mock-up looks like it is going to need a bit of work, but hopefully I’ll be able to get that taken care of tomorrow when I see my fitting buddy.

August 20, 2009  Tags:   Posted in: Costuming  No Comments

And then again…this also feels a little like summer…

  

I was at work a bit later than usual this afternoon, and came home feeling a bit burned out and lazy.  Fiddled around on Facebook for a while and then vegged on the couch with my crochet project.  I was going to do a bit of reading after that, but got sucked into FB again, and now I’m exhausted.

So, while I’m tempted to blame work for my complete lack of accomplishment this afternoon, I must admit that I have lazy days even when I take the summer off.  Still think I should be able to blame work for the burned out part, though.

July 7, 2009   Posted in: Life  No Comments

Feeling a Little Like Summer

  

Work still kind of sucked today, but my afternoon actually felt like a normal summer day.  I ran some errands as soon as I got home, and then went out to my studio.  I know it doesn’t sound like much, but it felt good to feel like I’m getting something done other than work.

The first thing I had to do in my studio was hem K’s pants.  He’s been waiting for over a month, so it was well overdue.

Then, I turned my attention to my anglaise.  Now that I have my petticoats back, the sillouette is looking really good.  I still have issues with the petticoat hem, but Bridget came up with a plan for that, which we’ll be able to execute when I go see her tomorrow–we are going to adjust from the waist.  I’m still thinking I might need to shorten the petticoats as well, but that will be a bit easier as I can adjust those at the hem.  At any rate, I didn’t work on the skirt at all today, since I want to wait until tomorrow to try everything on together.

Now that I think of it, I really only accomplished one thing on this outfit today: I removed the lace that I had sewn to the overgown.  Bridget pointed out that lace was mostly white, ivory, or black–not navy blue–during this era.  Good point.  So, I’m switching lace.  Unfortunately, the lace I was planning on using just doesn’t look right at the neckline.  So, I spent about an hour futzing with different trim combinations without finding anything I like so far.

After giving up on the trim, I cut down the back of my corset.  I need to remember that about this pattern the next time I make it up–the back is at least an inch too high, and the shoulder straps could be a bit narrower at the back as well (as in making the neckline wider).  I had removed the binding just enough to do this easily, only to discover that the binding is not long enough anymore.  Grrr.  So, I’ll need to remove the rest of the binding, cut some more, and do the neckline.

Now, I’m off to do some crochet.

July 6, 2009  Tags: ,   Posted in: Costuming  No Comments

Reconstruction

  

Worked on my website for a bit today.  For those of you who have been wondering what ever happened to my navigation buttons on my homepage…I have no idea.  However, I have replace them with links so that you can actually navigate my site again.

I’ve also started new blogs for my book reviews and for my crochet and knitting projects.  Granted, I’m not sure how often I actually get around to updating them.  I seem to enjoy setting them up and playing around with the settings more than actually writing posts, but I’m sure the novelty will keep me going for at least a few months.

I still have quite a bit of work to do on the website.  There are about four dress diaries that either need to be updated or just plain created.  (My summer sky natural form dress, which did indeed get finished by Costume College last year.  My Wives & Daughters dress which was finished in time for Dickens Fair last winter.  My Tudor gown, which is still just barely started.  An 18th century anglaise that is almost finished.)  With summer school, it may take me a while to do all this, but my goal is to have it done by the time school starts in the fall.

July 1, 2009   Posted in: Website updates  No Comments